We need to stop making stupid warning signs and labels and let Darwinism run its course
Have you ever read a weird warning label or a weird warning sign and thought, “Are you effing kidding me? Who are they making these things for?”
Well, there are really dumb people out there that don’t seem to grasp common sense or have the ability to understand it. They need higher-intelligent people to protect them so they don’t end up harming themselves or worse, killing themselves.
Whatever happened to the term survival of the fittest, or letting Darwinism run its course? If we keep putting stupid signs and labels on everything, the human gene pool is destined to be overflowing with stupid people. Humanity is going to be doomed and become extinct in a very short time.
Listed below are 25 examples of stupid warning signs and labels that prove humanity’s doom. They’re funny, but also frightening to know that there are people out there whom they have to make these warnings for.
1. Avoid contact with WHAT?
Did somebody somehow find a way to apply this cream to their brain that the company that makes the cream had to include it to their list of things that you should not apply it to? I’m not going to even try to guess what kind of cream this is that people would even put it in their eyes and, um, surrounding membranes.
2. How would you even…
I’d like to see the news report on the person who was blowdrying their hair while they were sleeping. It’s would be both impressive and amazingly stupid. I tried to find a clearer image so I could actually read the warning label to see if it was real, but after going through all of these other images I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.
3. But how will I ever warm up my crotch now?
Can you imagine the facepalm the designer must have made when he realized that he had to put this warning label on this coffee cup? The fact that this company had to put this warning on their cup to avoid lawsuits because somebody was pouring it into their crotch is another reason humanity is doomed.
4. But it’s my favorite lemon-flavored gum
This has to be a joke right? RIGHT?? Please let this be a joke. This is right up the alley with eating the lead paint chips off the walls. I wonder if they are OK with people eating the urinal cakes then, after all, they’re called cakes right?
5. But the picture!
This is just a stupid label taking advantage of stupid people who read pictures instead of text. If it’s not for climbing, then why is there a picture of a person using it to climb with? The design department needs to be fired. Just think of all those stupid people falling to their death because they used the rope to climb with.
6. But, wouldn’t this be like two birds with one stone?
Imagine the legal department of this clothing company having to put this on their textiles to avoid another lawsuit because somebody may have tried to wash their kid and the clothes they were wearing at the same time. Another reason why we need to stop putting these warnings on things is that it is time to let the gene pool clean itself out.
7. I’m curious about what led to this warning label
I bet some moron was trying to curl their eyelashes with the curling iron and burned their eyeball causing them to go blind and they sued the curling iron company because they didn’t have a warning label that it was hot and would burn your eyes if it made contact with it. I bet the moron won the case and this is why the curling iron has to put this stupid warning label l on its products. Whoever the judge was to allow this to even get to them in court should be fired for not telling the moron to go pound dirt.
8. Not only will you die, but you’ll be fined $200
They will give your corpse a $200 fine after you touch the wires at the Newcastle Tramway. I wonder how they arrange this payment. Do they rummage through your pockets for a credit card, or do they even take credit car payments?
9. Now, who the hell is feeding their kids batteries that caused this to be necessary?
Not only do they tell you not to let your children eat the batteries, but somehow you have to take care of it while staying away from whatever it is. They seem to be asking so much but don’t want you to do much either.
10. Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not my Mom blub blub blub blub…
Somebody must have gotten sick and tired of people swimming near this pier and drowning that they finally had enough and painted this Sign on the pier to stop stupid people from drowning. Yup, that’s how that works right? NO? OH, that’s not how that works. Well, feck.
11. How the hell would you even…
I, I can’t with this one. I have no words. If they have to put a warning label like this on a fregging coat hanger just stop the world and let me off. If people are swallowing coat hangers, remove these stupid warning labels and let them. We don’t need that shit in the gene pool.
12. Some people don’t actually know where peanuts come from I guess
Proof the education system is failing when people don’t actually know what whole peanuts look like. But you would think that if a person had a bad peanut allergy they would know what a whole peanut looked like right? I’d take that stupid warning label and hide it and let nature take its course. There’s just too much stupid in the world now.
13. Stupid instructions on how to drink something
The thought that somebody tried to drink whatever this is before opening it that causes this company’s legal department to make this recommendation on its label is so frightening. I mean you don’t have to have a Ph.D. in molecular physics to know that you need to open before consuming.
14. Phew! Good thing that the warning label was there
I want to see the video footage of the idiot that made this warning label necessary. I want to see the video showing the idiot actually sitting down on this cactus. If we continue putting labels like this on things because of stupid idiots, imagine what the entire wilderness is going to look like with billions of warning labels on everything because people are getting more stupid.
15. THis is a very suspicious warning label
So is this product hazardous to your health or not? Very, very suspicious indeed. It’s almost like they want you to drink it but don’t want you to sue them for liability and they want you to trust them and ignore all the warnings about their products. Nah, this isn’t a shady warning label at all.
16. This company might want to rethink their hiring practices
If this sign needs to be made for stupid employees, I don’t think that these stupid employees should be anywhere near this machine. You think that if you had to actually explain to employees that this machine has no actual brains they wouldn’t even be qualified enough to be in the presence of this fine-ass machine.
17. Wait, WHAT?
Stop the world right now! I want to get the hell off of it! That’s it, I’m done. I can’t even! Who the hell is sticking precision screwdrivers up their ding-dong? WHY are they sticking precision screwdrivers up their ding-dong? No, no, no, I don’t want to know. Just stop the fregging world and let me off right here. This is proof that humanity is so doomed.
18. Welp! There go my dinner plans out the window!
I get that food prices are going through the roof, but to resort to eating worms is where I draw the line right after eating Brussels sprouts. It’s sad that a company had to put a warning label like this on their product just to avoid a lawsuit by people getting seriously ill from eating the worms.
19. Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not my Mom blub blub blub blub…
This is another stupid warning sign that I would remove. I’d remove it and just let nature run its course. There is no need for this kind of stupidity to be allowed to procreate and spread through the human gene pool. In fact, I think that a shitload of bleach needs to be dumped into this pool just to help nature catch up.
20. How the hell did this end up needed in a manual?
What did somebody do to require this to be added to a manual? I’m gonna guess and say that the power went out at some idiot’s house and what they did was go to the garage and grab their drill with the illuminated lights and used it to go through their home to see where they were going, WITH a drill bit in the drill. While walking through their house with the running drill in their hand they ran into another person in the house and put the drill bit into the other person’s head. And that is why this is now in the manual. I’m just ballparking that assumption though.
21. Wait, what? No, I can’t. I can’t even…
Why was it necessary to put a warning label on boner pills that they aren’t to be given to newborns? Is there an actual news report out there about some idiot giving their newborn Viagra pills? If there is I’d like to read it. Post the link in the comments if you know about it. I’m if it was deliberate or an accident. No way was it on purpose, right? RIGHT?
22. What crazy shit was happening before this sign was put out?
What do you think was going on for this farmer to have to eventually put out this sign saying that they don’t rent out pigs? Was the farmer renting out his pigs before and found out what people were doing to his pigs and were shocked enough that he had to put out the sign? There are some really weird people out there in the world.
23. This warning label needs to go
If you are dumb enough not to know this without having to have a warning label tell you that your zipper will mangle your ding-dong if you zip it up, then I say you should have your ding-dong mangled so as you can’t use it to produce any more spawn. This would be a great way to end the stupidity from procreating any further.
24. Whos getting the alligators high?
Why would anyone waste their drugs like this? Drugs are expensive! Do the Alligators do funny shit when they’re tripping balls? Do they allow you to snuggle up to them and pat them? Do they play fetch? I have so many questions.
25. Well, you don’t say?
It is signs like these ones that I think should actually encourage the stupid people out there to actually hold the wrong end of dangerous things. Because a smart person would tell you to go screw yourself and they would continue on with life. A stupid person would just go ahead and do it hopefully ending their ability to reproduce and spread their stupidity into the world.
We hope you enjoyed our little presentation on why we think that all warning labels and signs should be removed. Especially the really stupid warning signs and labels out there protecting stupid people from themselves.
If you feel the same way about stupid warning signs and labels, then contact your local municipality to get them to make changes. It is our job to rid the planet of stupidity and only then will we have peace on earth.
If you have any comments or suggestions, please leave them below in the comment section.
Disclaimer because of stupid people: All characters and events on this blog — even those based on real people — are entirely fictional. All voices are impersonated… poorly. The following language contains coarse language and due to its content, it should not be viewed by everyone. All images are for satire entertainment only.