July 12, 2024
Shower Thoughts
When nature calls or the shower’s hot water flows, so too does John MacDonald’s brilliance in shower thoughts. Whether proposing a keyboard fix or ranting about Canada’s immigrants, he ponders life's quirks with zingers like: Tuna fish, not beef mammal? If tomatoes are fruits, does ketchup qualify as jam? Enlightening, no?
Shower thoughts

Just shower thoughts or just brilliant thinking?

Sometimes I’m astounded by the sheer brilliance of my own genius. I could be sitting down, staring into space, and suddenly an idea strikes me, and I’m like, “Whoa! That’s gold!” More often than not, this happens while I’m on the throne, answering nature’s call. Or I’ll be in the shower, getting hit with bursts of enlightenment alongside the water called shower thoughts. Is it just me, or do others have these eureka moments too?

Here are a few of my zinger shower thoughts and ideas

⌨️ Are you the type who has to gaze at the keyboard as you type? Then you peer up at the screen, expecting a masterpiece, only to find a paragraph SHOUTING BACK AT YOU IN ALL CAPS? Shocking, isn’t it?

My idea for that:

hOW ABOUT A KEYBOARD SHORTCUT THAT CHANGES ALL THE CAPITAL LETTER AND LOWER CASE LETTER TO LOWER CASE LETTERS AND CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY TURNED ON CAP LOCKS? i DO IT ALL THE TIME AND IT ANNOYS ME. yES I HAVE TO LOOK AT THE KEYBOARD WHEN I TYPE, bEEN DOING IT FOR DECADES. i CAN’T HELP IT.

John MacDonald

🏨 Are you tired of watching mass immigration take the spotlight over born-and-raised Canadians? Do you feel like they’re being treated like royalty while our veterans are tossed to the curb? Struggling to feed yourself and your family while living in a tent because the cost of living is skyrocketing, yet these immigrants are chilling in fancy hotels, munching on gourmet meals, and flaunting expensive gadgets and clothes—all on the Canadian taxpayers’ dime? Well, have no fear—I’ve got a DIY solution just for you!

I’ve been thinking about moving to the states and getting rid of my Canadian citizenship and becoming an American. And once I’m an American, I’m gonna come back to Canada as an immigrant and then I’ll be put up in an expensive hotel room and given three or four meals a day, and get a nice cell phone, new clothes, and shoes completely paid for by the government.

John MacDonald

I’m not the only one…

Here are a few other shower thoughts that challenge my genius—if I do say so myself. These nuggets of brilliance are so good they’ll make you question what you were doing in the shower before you had them. You might have heard some of these before, or maybe not, but in any case, I hope these shower thoughts tickle your neurons as much as they tickle ours.

  • If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
  • A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.
  • The word ‘Fat’ just looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word ‘Eat’.
  • Most people aren’t scared of being alone in the dark—they’re scared of not being alone in the dark.
  • The Japanese flag could actually be a pie chart of how much of Japan is Japan.
  • You wake up when you die in a dream because you don’t know what happens next.
  • Why do people say “tuna fish” when they don’t say “beef mammal” or “chicken bird?
  • We buy garbage bags just to throw them away.
  • Someday, someone will mention your name for the last time.
  • Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?
  • Even when a balloon is half inflated, it is completely full.
  • Does a straw have one hole, or two?
  • Nothing is on fire. Fire is on things.
  • How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can’t remember what that thing was?
  • If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn’t that also make him the worst spy?
  • Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbour mow their lawn.
  • Crabs probably think that fish can fly.
  • Your first birthday is technically your second birthday.
  • I wonder what my dog named me.
  • Fire trucks are really water trucks.
  • Beans bags are just boneless sofas.
  • When we’re young, we sneak out of our houses to go to parties. When we’re old, we sneak out of parties to go home.
  • Can you daydream at night?
  • To fall asleep, we have to pretend to be asleep.
  • Someone’s mom probably used you as a bad example for her kids.
  • Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
  • Which orange came first – the colour, or the fruit?
  • If tomatoes are fruit, then ketchup is jam.
  • Batman would look ridiculous trying to solve crimes outside on a sunny day.
  • Once you have a Ph.D., every meeting you go to becomes a doctor’s appointment.
  • Pregnant women are the only true bodybuilders.
  • Searching for a new laptop online is basically forcing your current computer to dig its own grave.
  • Maybe urinals were invented when a tall guy walked by the sinks and asked, “Why not?”
  • Turtles can never have sleepovers because they always sleep at home.
  • The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
  • When you drink alcohol, you’re just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
  • Teenagers drive like they’re on borrowed time. Meanwhile, elderly people drive like they’ve got all the time in the world.
  • When you give someone food, you’re feeding them. But when you give them water, you aren’t watering them.
  • Remember when teachers used to say, “You’ll never be walking around with a calculator in your pocket.” Well, look at us now!
  • If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
  • “Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
  • There’s no way to prove that we all actually see the same colours.
  • You will never stand backward on a staircase.
  • There are two E’s in Bee, but they’re both silent.

And one more…

Google self-driving car with an “I’m feeling lucky” button

Picture this: you press that magical button, and the car whisks you away to a surprise destination. Maybe it’ll drop you smack dab in the middle of a Mozart traffic jam—patience, meet test. But then, it redeems itself by driving you straight to the gym, where you can bench press your frustration away. And hey, you might even collect a few bucks back from that gym’s ludicrous initial fee, as long as you show up. It’s like playing a game, but the prize is sanity!

Conclusion…

Shower Thoughts Conclusion
Shower Thoughts

As you can see, genius strikes when you least expect it—whether you’re juggling life’s big questions in the shower, on the throne, or just caught in a moment of random reflection. I hope these musings have added a splash of humour to your day and sparked a few “Eureka!” moments of your own.

Now it’s your turn! Which of these brilliant shower thoughts made you chuckle, ponder, or even roll your eyes? Share your favourites in the comments below, and don’t forget to enlighten us with your own amazingly brilliant shower thoughts. Let’s see who else has a mind that’s always bubbling with genius! 🚿🧠✨

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