July 13, 2024
Mac's Opinion - The place where everyone is entitled to my opinion
After wrestling lawnmowers and battling knotweed, my yard's a gardening magazine—if you squint. Upgrading to a better mower is my dream. Share your yard war stories below for solidarity and laughs!

Lawn Concured!

Lawn Mowing

YES! I finally conquered that wild jungle of a lawn! Every time I face this green battlefield, I’m reminded how desperately we need a lawn mower upgrade. The ancient gas guzzler we have now might as well be a toy—it’s got tiny wheels that aren’t meant for serious lawns like ours. It feels like it’s designed for a perfectly flat putting green, not our rollercoaster of a yard with grass that seems to grow on rocket fuel. Pushing that thing is basically my new workout routine!

Having a better mower with those large back wheels would be perfect for our property, and my back. That old one must have been designed for hobbits. When I use it, I’m practically impersonating Quasimodo because the handle is so ridiculously low, and no, it can’t be adjusted, otherwise, I’d be saving my grumbles for something else.

Unfortunately, the rain didn’t completely dry up, leaving murky pools behind our greenhouse, turning mowing into a swampy nightmare. The front yard is manageable, but the back? It’s an infuriating gauntlet of obstacles: neighbours’ garbage strewn everywhere, overgrown trees blocking the path behind our shed, and the relentless Japanese knotweed that I have to mercilessly hack down.

Making matters worse, the persistent dampness attracts swarms of mosquitoes, buzzing annoyingly close to my ears as I struggle to make any progress. Every step I take is met with the squelching sound of mud underfoot, and my boots often get stuck, adding further frustration. No matter how hard I try, the backyard remains a treacherous maze, challenging my patience and resolve at every turn.

Japanese Knotweed isn’t just any pesky weed; it’s a menace! Adjacent property owners are clueless about the disaster they’re nurturing in their yards. This invasive species doesn’t just grow—it spreads like wildfire, hijacking nutrients from your cherished plants and mercilessly killing them off. In New Brunswick, Canada, it’s actually mandatory to report sightings of this destructive plant. And don’t assume you’re safe outside of New Brunswick either; rules might be just as strict elsewhere. Check it out before this green terror invades your neighbourhood!

In the end, it’s all worth it

Aside from all the back-breaking lawn mower pushing that left me feeling like I’d been wrestling with a bear, and the weed-whacking with the trimmer that turned my arms into rubber, the property looks fantastic. The planters along the side of the road are strutting their blooms like runway models, the planter boxes along the dog run are flaunting their flowers, and even the wall hanging is rocking blooming pansies. There are still plenty of plants outside patiently waiting to bloom so we can keep a steady buffet open for the bees all season long.

I pride myself on keeping a neat and tidy yard; I think it says a lot about who you are. Plus, it keeps me from becoming one with the couch, which is healthy—I guess! Seeing a messy yard makes me wince like I’ve just stepped on a Lego. Our goal is to keep it pristine by adding new flowering plants and ground cover, hoping that mowing the lawn will become a distant memory because everything will be taken over by creeping vines and blooming flowers.

All in Bloom and Laughs

Yard conclusion

So, after surviving yet another epic showdown with our feral backyard, I’m proud to say the yard looks like something straight out of a gardening magazine—if you squint and ignore the occasional dandelion. Maybe with the right tools, one day the lawn won’t feel like the setting for a survival reality show.

What do you think of our botanical beauty? We’d love to hear from you! Drop a comment below and share your thoughts on our garden haven—or vent about what you despise most about yard work. Is it the stubborn weeds, the rebellious lawn mower, or maybe wrestling with the hose? Go on, let’s commiserate together!

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